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| Photo by Cristobal |
In my very first blog entry I stated that I will "get back" to the reason why I named our boy Rumi. Everybody has a reason as to why they name their child. Mine has a lot of history behind it and a lot of meaning...
When I went back to Iran as an adult at the age of 20, I absorbed more culture and understanding than I had when I was 7. I came to appreciate family life and what it means to have a sense of belonging. Because when you grow up in the States coming from immigrant parents you don't belong--especially growing up in the South. You try to find every way to fit in.
I know everyone can relate to this, but it's just a little harder for the child that has the "parent's from another country." I remember asking my parents why they named me Mahfam. I HATED my name and thought I deserved an explanation.
My mom (in farsi) told me, "well, Mahfam dear, I named you Mahfam because you are Mah-fam. It means the color of the light of the moon. I named you Mahfam because like the moon you are unique...I named you what I believe you are--that's what mom's do"
My mom's answer was only satisfying until I had to go to school. At school, I wished my name could be a little easier to pronounce. At school, I dreaded roll call. At school, I stuttered my name when someone asked me. At school, I was made fun of for having my name. Only my sisters could relate to my pain at the time...
I was introduced to the poems of Rumi when I was 16 by my friend Alma. Alma was an exchange student from Bosnia and we just clicked. Alma soon joined my group of friends and on weekends we all hung out at our local coffeehouse/bookstore. (The only thing, besides partying or cruising the streets, to do on the weekends in Jonesboro, AR). Since I wasn't allowed to go to the parties and there's only so much cruising you can do on 1 main street, the bookstore was our haven.
We would go through the aisles and read through books, flip through magazines, and drink coffee until closing. On one such night, we were reading different books on poetry and just talking about our lives when she picked up Rumi from the shelf and said, "oh, I love this poet; I'm sure you know of him since he's a Persian poet." I did not. I grew up with Hafez and Omar Khayyam in the home, but not Rumi.
I started skimming through the pages and I immediately fell in love. I read through the whole book, The Essential Rumi, by Coleman Barks translation in a week. And I kept the book with me, always opening it at random pages and reading a few poems. Sometimes I'd base my whole day on a few lines from Rumi. I related to his teachings and I held the book dear to me. He taught me about friendship, love, war, misfortune, deceit. From 16 onwards, I kept his teachings near. I sometimes looked for advice in his poems.
I never thought I would name my child after him. That is, until I my trip to Iran at the age of 20. My dear aunt Sima was talking about what motherhood is all about, what it means to name your child, the sacrifices a mother makes when she decides to have a baby (whether naturally hers or adopted), and how important it is to honor one's mother.
At 20 I didn't care too much about what she was teaching me, but I did absorb and I did learn. She told me that it is in the mother's heart to name her baby. The mother has already formed a bond with her baby before it is born and therefore, it is her gift to name her child.
Eight years later, I had remembered what my aunt had taught me. I gave my baby his name the day he was born. I gave him a name of a poet that became my friend at the age of 16. I gave him a name of a poet that went on to college with me. I gave him the name of a poet that directed me to the love of my life. I gave him the name of a poet that spoke words of love on our wedding invitations.
I named him Rumi.
I named him Rumi not because I want him to go through school only to be tormented by his name, but because I believe he will stand strong behind his name.
I named him Rumi not because I compare him to the wonderful poet, but because the wonderful poet helped me fit into a world for dreamers and believers.
I named him Rumi not because I want to be the cool, hip mom, but because he was in me all along.
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| Photo by me. |
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| Photo by Gema. |
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| Photo by Gema |
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| Photo by my mom#2, Gema. |
